December 01, 2003
another scary one
I was awakened last night by another nightmare. I dreamt that I had killed a man, and gotten away with it. I think the way I killed him was I hit him over the head in the shower with an iron skillet. I'm not sure how I got away with it. In the dream, I could hardly remember the incident itself or why I had wanted to kill him. I was feeling terrible guilt. I think my father was the detective in charge of the case. I was considering confessing to try to relieve the guilt. When I woke up I had to ask myself if I had really killed a man.
Of course, I have not-- in fact, before I went to sleep last night I was reflecting on the fact that I'm unable to kill anything larger than a cockroach. There was an incident a long time ago with one of our family cats; the cat was toying with an injured mouse, and seemed to grow bored with it. I was afraid the cat wasn't going to finish it off, and I couldn't stand to watch the whole long drawn out thing. I thought I should just break the mouse's neck, and I tried but just couldn't bring myself to do it, so I left and hoped the cat would finish it off.
Posted by lisa at December 01, 2003 10:11 AM | TrackBack