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December 31, 2004

beggars and choosers!

lately i've been wanting to add some interesting vintage stuff to my wardrobe. this is difficult and discouraging, because most vintage clothes are too small for me. it's not just a weight issue; my shoulders are usually too wide for the jackets and shirts. this was even the case when i was in high school and was very slim. couple that with the fact that vintage clothes are usually just more difficult to shop for-- they tend to be crammed into racks, in dark stores, with little sensible organization and a poor signal-to-noise ratio-- and i haven't made much of an effort in this direction in many years.

but i was feeling like i'd be up for it this week, and since sarah and i had planned to hang out today, i was hoping she'd be up for a trip down to beggars and choosers in pittsboro, and indeed she was.

i kind of knew they'd renovated recently, but i was amazed at the changes in the store. everything has been cleaned out and organized. the main floor is still a jumble of housewares and furniture (and a kitten!) but it's a bit easier to negotiate. the back room has been fully cleaned out and organized, and is full of patterns (organized in easy to access drawers, by decade), fabric, and a huge assortment of vintage buttons, belt buckles, and other notions. the basement has had most of the junky furniture removed, and is again much easier to negotiate. one long wall is a rack of bargain clothes, and that's where i had the most luck. i also started noticing that her prices are much, much better than they used to be. the bargain clothes are 2 for $5. i found a vintage shirt, coat, blazer, and a 40's era purse for a grand total of $10. the clothes all have some issues, of course, but i think i can work with them. the basic fit of the blazer, in particular, is perfect.

the upper floor is still devoted to clothes and accessories. she has culled the clothing heavily and the signal far outweighs the noise now. the clothes are much less crowded on the racks, and the lighting is better, too, i think. the prices are astounding when you compare them to untidy museum! sarah found two fabulous mod hats, one of which is actually mink, for little more than her similar hat from untidy cost.

(i don't mean to dis on untidy-- y'all know i love that place. their rent on broad street must be astronomical, especially compared to rent in pittsboro. i don't fault them for their prices but it's natural to compare.)

i didn't find anything upstairs but i really did look at everything. i didn't let myself get discouraged. sarah did great, finding the two hats, two pairs of shoes, and some other items from both upstairs and from the basement. (note that the hat you see her in to the right is not one she bought-- i'll let her describe it in her blog though. that's a special hat.)

it was a nice outing and the changes in the store are definitely for the better.

Posted by lisa at 05:20 PM

the tkdf project

many years ago, i was involved in an improvisational audio collage show on wxdu. personnel were typically jason!, ian rothwell, and me, although the cast rotated and we had folks come in and help from time to time.

ian is a very meticulous person and he taped every show. each tape was carefully labelled with the name of that week's show, the date, and the show number. at some point, he divided the tapes three ways and we each received a set. i believe we were supposed to sift through the tapes, identify the best sections, and possibly compile them in some kind of digitized form.

i've always intended to follow through with this project, but software (and motivation) has been an issue. i recently found a blog post about digitizing and editing old cassettes that finally pointed me in the right direction and i've got two apps that seem to work and have the features i need. Audio Recorder for sound capture, and Audacity for editing. Audacity has a visual representation of the sound waves, which I need for editing... i can't navigate sound without a visual. Just the way my brain works.

so last night i captured the first tape, show #4, recorded on may 31, 1996. this show may be so early that it's only ian... jason and i joined up after ian had done a few shows by himself, i think.

i always thought of it as unlistenable-- something that was immensely fun to do, but probably hell to actually hear on the radio. but as i sit here listening to this show, i find that i don't want to stop. it's more mesmerizing than irritating. i don't think it's because i was involved... i have no memory of this particular show, i don't even know if i was there when it was created. having done the show probably affected the way i listen to music in general... i know i probably have a higher than average tolerance for music that many people would consider to be "just noise". but much of what i am hearing right now isn't too far off from what i hear on xdu's playlist these days. it's kind of nice, actually.

i'm not sure how possible it will be to pull out sections of a show, but i think i still want to try to do that. i could also make entire shows available for download in mp3 form if anyone wants them.

i also have a lot of photos that i took during shows that i should scan. i was the main photographer, which means that i don't appear in many photos. that kind of pisses me off... because there were so few women working in audio collage at that time (maybe none?). because we never speak during the shows, without the photos, the people involved kind of disappear, there is no record of who was involved except in our own memories and the photos. i do have this one picture. it was taken by our old black & white webcam, reflecting off the minidisc player (a cool camera angle invented by jim haverkamp).

anyway, i'm hoping that i'll continue to follow through with this and come up with an end product that i could give to the station for our library. maybe it could even go on our playlist for a while-- that would be cool.

:|:

update: here's an excerpt from show #4. excerpt #1, 2.6mb, mp3 format, and just for jason! excerpt #1, 3.3mb, ogg format.

Posted by lisa at 10:52 AM

December 30, 2004

hoist 'em up there!

so i did do something productive today... although it was also shopping. i'm creative that way. i decided i hate all my bras, i can never find anything that's properly supportive, and "the girls" now need a bit of a hand up.

so, like others before me, off i went to the bra patch!

like xta, i found i did not mind the "ladyhandling", especially since i was expecting it. now interestingly, she fitted me at about the same size as victoria's secret did-- so i guess there's at least one vic secret gal who knows what she's doing to some degree. the funny thing is though that i'm in between sizes-- neither a 38 D nor a 40 C-- which effectively means that i can wear both, or in some cases, neither, depending on the bra.

the woman who fitted me gave me a lot more information, though, than the most helpful vic secret salesgirl ever did for me. she pointed out an area where i need support, where i never really though about needing support before. and of course, she pointed out the one crucial fact that all women need to have pointed out, probably-- that the band needs to be low in the back to give you proper support.

she was helping a group of three women when i came in so i had to wait. another woman came in while i was there-- she had called ahead for something specific. she was very, very tall and fairly well-endowed. the woman took one look at her and said, "honey, you're not a double-d, you're bigger than that. you need to let me fit you." so she waited with me and we chatted a little. she was looking to get the exact thing that xta had originally gotten there years ago-- a strapless bra that would actually provide support for a large bosom. the saleswoman diplomatically suggested that i let her be fitted ahead of me since she was looking for something specific. when it was my turn, the sales woman told me that she'd wound up fitting her to a TRIPLE F! i was floored. that poor woman... how awful to cram yourself into something that's that much too small. but as she said to me while we were waiting, now she knows where to go in the future.

it'll be a while before i know if i'm really pleased with what i got there. two of them are not underwire and are similar in construction to the jeaunique bra that xta describes. they are not really all that pretty (well, kinda... they are lace...) but i put my shirt on over one and i was sold-- it looked great. and i have to admit that the kind of 50's look they have has its own sort of appeal-- i guess this is how bras were constructed back in the day, before the $10 wal-mart underwire came along. you know how women looked in sweaters in the 50's, right? ok, you get why i was sold.

sadly, due to my weird size, which is not quite full-figure and not quite... normal? (for lack of a better word), there weren't many pretty, non-basic bras to choose from. she did show me one that i may go back for-- it's made to be worn under something with a low neckline. it wouldn't be comfortable enough to wear every day, but might be nice for an evening. and now that i've got the basics covered, i may stray into victoria's secret again... shhh, don't tell the bra patch lady though, i think she is probably not a fan :)

Posted by lisa at 04:11 PM

my tough life continues

true to my word, no shopping yesterday except a very necessary trip to the grocery store. worked my way through s&tc s6 pt2*. awesome. no spoilers here though please, i still have a few friends who read this blog and haven't seen it yet. also watched the last part of second sight, a really rockin' good pbs miniseries featuring the perpetually droolworthy clive owen. and re-watched 'lost in translation'.

also, of course, on air. was strangely sleepy and out of it before my shift, convinced i was getting the stomach flu. 45 minutes in it became clear that i had merely been sleepy.

after my long stressful taxing day, i had to take a hot bath to relax. i swear, i don't know what i'll do if all this stress continues.

the cat is becoming cuddlier and cuddlier. it's very sweet.

it's looking like lunch today with jb and dinner with d&s perhaps. i shall be well fed.

* sex & the city, season 6, part 2

Posted by lisa at 10:00 AM

December 29, 2004

on air

right now, yo.

playlist, live

Posted by lisa at 08:26 PM

December 28, 2004

more mmmm

shopping yesterday with s.; she wisely volunteered to drive, knowing after our adventure on sunday, i might not want to. and she was right.

shopping went very well and i shouldn't have to wander around in t-shirts while its 20 degrees out any longer.

last night i started thinking about all the things i would like to do during the break, and i gave in and made a list.

this morning, i deleted the file.

when my stepfather was attempting to describe how great the tour company for their trip to italy had been, he said, "i don't think your mom made even one list!" in that moment, i knew where i got the list thing from.

a lot of the time, lists feel good. i like making them, i like reading them, and i like checking things off of them. but this particular list made me feel just awful, so i had to get rid of it. i felt like it was hanging over me.

today i shopped a little more and was treated to a surprise vomit encounter in the target bathroom. i think i need to avoid public restrooms during flu season, this is two years in a row now. i know; better to be a witness than to be a victim. it just happens to be a mild phobia of mine.

tomorrow, i swear, i'll do something other than shop...

Posted by lisa at 05:15 PM

December 26, 2004

a sigh of contentment

really, i am a very good date. i have a fireplace, and know how to use it. i have emmenthaler cheese and know enough to warm it by said fireplace. i have a completely absurd amount of red zin and no qualms whatsoever about uncorking a bottle in my similarly-hued, library-lit living room.

i would say "oh it's too bad i'm here alone with the cat", but really, i am way too happy and content to have any problem with the current situation whatsoever. more cheese and wine for me.

:|:

earlier today had a rather bracing experience in the van with the very tolerant s. we went out for hamburgers and i discovered-- the hard way, on a blind curve of a very busy road-- that the gas pedal had come loose in such a way that it was impossible to make the thing move. so we sat there with emergency blinkers on, on the worst possible part of duke street, cars honking with full doppler effect as they sped by, attempting to figure out what the fuck was up with the gas pedal. we cobbled together a sort of solution, which involved me driving barefoot, and not mentioning, until we were parked, that the brakes were also terrifyingly soft.

arriving at the cook-out parking lot, i shut off the engine and proceeded to yank a part of the dash off in dramatic fashion. this is how you get to the brake fluid reservoir, which i explained to s. as she stared at me in wonderment. sure enough it was low. we got it topped off, got cheeseburgers as planned, and used extra brake fluid to clean the rusty metal around the gas pedal so we could apply a little duct tape to the situation. we made it home ok, but i really hate to think of those moments on the blind curve with the blinkers on. jesus.

Posted by lisa at 11:12 PM

advice for online dating

Posted by lisa at 02:24 PM

December 25, 2004

mmmxmas

operated on my own schedule this morning which i have to admit is really nice; normally i'm scheduled to pick up gran at a particular time so i'm locked into a time frame. finished grandma's present, pulled the wreath out of the attic and wired it to the front of the van, had a nice breakfast and got rolling around 11am.

was startled to pass fong, one of the two sisters who run shanghai, attempting to cross 55 as i drove by. felt like santa cruising through all the neighborhoods in my tall sleigh. almost waved at a couple of kids. somehow the van just feels like the right vehicle for christmas, maybe because it makes me feel like i'm living in the past just to drive it, of course this is a soft-focus, glowing, perfectly retro past... like living in a fantasy land. which christmas is supposed to be, right?

said to mom, hey, i didn't know megan was moving to vegas. "Oh, that girl. She's not moving to Vegas permanently-- it's just for three months, but she's driving her parents crazy making a big deal of it." ah. i get it. she's going out there for work, and actually, it sounds damn cool-- her company is developing a multimedia security system, and i guess some casinos are interested in it. maybe i should go visit...

mom and i actually had a nice talk, we talked some about how weird and unfriendly a lot of her sibs are... that really joan is the only one either of us really feel comfortable with. which made me feel a bit better. i mean, i'm still a bit of a square peg, but in the context of our family, i'm probably fairly friendly and have reasonable social skills. it makes me appreciate that i'm not only getting some social awkwardness from my dad's side, but from her side as well.

dinner was great-- ham, homemade mac & cheese, spinach casserole, rolls and coconut cake for dessert. wayne pulled out a bottle of special wine they'd gotten in nova scotia-- you can only get it there. i forget what it's called. it was delicious.

the stovetop espresso maker that i got was the most exciting present. we decided to try it out after dessert. it's very dramatic the way it works. you wait and wait and then a little trickle of brown appears, and you wonder if that is all, then suddenly after more waiting, it explodes three times, and on the third explosion, it foams and you get the creamy stuff on top. stuart decided to try it, his first espresso experience, so it was a little unfortunate that there were no fat-bearing dairy products in the house suitable for blending with it. wayne and i agreed that it was pretty damn good though and we all got into a whole discussion of coffee whilst crammed into their tiny galley kitchen, watching the espresso maker expectantly. daniel and i schooled everyone on 'espresso' vs. 'expresso', even mom didn't know the right way to say it. which is shocking, because she's an editor and loves travelling in italy.

gran's family in alabama, whom she never gets to see, compiled an utterly (and unintentially) hysterical video-letter for her over thanksgiving. each family unit sat down in front of the camera for a little interview ("hi aunt bonnie, this is holly, i'm 17 now and a senior at...") with stage-whispered prompting from behind the camera ("and what do you do...?") the best was the 17 year old girl who plays two sports, plans to become an engineer, was homecoming queen, and is representing her county at a beauty pageant. stuart looked at me and said, "she's in our family??" and we all cracked up. i'm not sure we've ever managed to breed a homecoming queen before.

we started talking about the new $800k "cottages" that are being built in another part of the neighborhood, so i asked gran how much the house cost when they bought it new in 1948. she wasn't sure but said it was under $20k. there was only one other complete and occupied house on the street when they moved in; that house was and still is occupied by a woman named peggy, who gran said came over to say hi the day they moved in and invited them to dinner that night. peggy and her two daughters mary and margaret came to visit today, which was a trip.

stuart and daniel each gave me an xtc cd, so i have enough now to get started with a mix. so far the mix is about 3 hours long and i'm still missing a lot of stuff. it's kind of difficult to do justice to a band that has been recording for 27 years, and produced an album a year for about the first ten years of that career. i'm finding unexpected convergences in things recorded 20 years apart, and that the dukes of stratosphear stuff makes really good transitions in some of the more difficult places. it's hard not to include the entirety of the first dukes record; it's so fucking good, all the way through. i should hit the used bookstores to see if i can find the stuff i'm still missing.

so now i can relax. a whole week with no work and no travel and no real plans of any kind. wheee!!

Posted by lisa at 10:52 PM

Moses' Day

I made my grandmother a Christmas present. She loves kitties and she's not so good with words and names any more. I made her a little comic book about one day in the life of Moses The Cat.

You can check it out for yourself on the web.

Posted by lisa at 08:13 PM

December 24, 2004

a sudden, marked improvement

drove the van in this morning for a very brief day at work; thought my ipod died but happily was able to recover it later-- just a dead battery, i think. sudden burst of social plans for the day made me quite pleased! lunch at old time bbq with jason and sean, with a memorable comment or two on the van from the restaurant owner.

d. & s. had to cancel their trip at the last minute, due to weather, so they'll be in town for the holiday and not working-- yippee!! they came over this evening for fondue, we killed a couple bottles of wine, and went walking around the neighborhood to look at light displays. one of my neighbors has created a giant rooster made of lights... apparently, he's trying to get the city to let him keep chickens in a coop in his yard. it's really quite amazing. it's visible from Mangum St, near the intersection with Trinity. it's also visible from Trinity.

i'm working on a last minute idea for a present for my grandma-- a little comic book that is a day in the life of moses. she loves cats and does a lot better with pictures than with people's names. it's very silly. i'm not sure if she'll like it but we'll see.

anyway, i'm feeling much more cheerful that i'll have someone to go shopping with and more folks to hang out with. little miss mood swing, as always. ah well.

Posted by lisa at 10:44 PM

December 23, 2004

so much for that

i re-read megan's email tonight. the first time i read it, i missed the sentence where she said, "I've been rushing around all week trying to get all my errands and chores completed before moving to las vegas that I can't even keep my mind straight."

ok, so i didn't know that she is moving to vegas. that actually would have been helpful information because a couple of things i got her are bulky and fragile and it will suck to move them.

but the thing that really bums me out is how it underscores the gap that exists between me and my family. on my mom's side of the family, i don't really fit in and never have. i feel that my dad's side are the people i am most like, but after my grandmother died, i lost my (tenuous) connection to them.

being disconnected from them has made me sad and upset many times. being many years older than all of my cousins makes it difficult to connect with my own generation, although they are all very tight with each other. the only one of mom's sibs that i have things in common with is strange and distant from the family, including me. in fact, i used to think she hated me. she probably doesn't, but it's hard to tell.

i've always connected well with the grandparent generation, but they are gone now. my mom's mother is alive but her mind is gone. my first stepfather's mother, gran, is alive and totally there with us, but she's not a blood relation. it's different with her.

anyway. my mom forgets to tell me stuff. like, your grandfather's cancer has metastasized to his bones. or, i'm seeing someone. or, your cousin megan is moving across the country, so don't buy her any pottery serving pieces for christmas. i find this stuff out in passing, and when it's bad, upsetting news, i quietly leave the room and cry by myself.

Posted by lisa at 10:13 PM

it sounded new but wasn't

from a profile on okcupid:

"I'm poly-fi, so generally when thinking of dating I'm interested in a commitment of some sort, and while I'm available to date I'm not interested only in someone for dating potential."

from google it appears that poly-fi means polyfidelity. i assume that means commited relationships with many people. ok, we've seen that before.

Posted by lisa at 08:59 PM

where have y'all been?

every once in a while, i am a little surprised at what the boingboing crew thinks is newsworthy. f'rinstance, the blurb that's up right now about running a vehicle on waste cooking oil.

i guess this just means that a lot more work needs to be done to make people aware of biodiesel and other means of fueling a vehicle without petrochemicals. there's so much more awareness now than there was six years ago when i first discovered the veggie van folks that i sometimes don't realize how much farther there is to go.

just in case any of you weren't aware:

[1] some older diesels may need to have some rubber parts in the fuel system changed out for parts that will not break down when exposed to the much greasier veggie fuel.

Posted by lisa at 12:52 PM

mmmmmmm

well, after a certain amount of personal experimentation, i've determined that a) i love the starbucks peppermint mocha and b) it makes me feel like crap. big surprise as it's full of, you guessed it, my favorite new topic, sugar.

so, armed with sugar-free chocolate syrup and a small bottle of peppermint extract, i figured i could produce a similar result. except that i decided to do this at 11pm tonight and coffee, even decaf, seemed like a bad plan.

however, i happened to have some sugar-free chocolate ice cream in the freezer... and so naturally, i just had to make a chocolate mint milkshake (ignoring the fact that chocolate is also a stimulant and is also not something i should be consuming at 11pm... but what the hell.. it's a holiday week.)

YUM! i was surprised at how much ice cream it took, and that vigorous blending makes the texture better. i found that a very small amount of the chocolate syrup helped kick up the flavor, and i was thankfully very conservative with the peppermint extract-- half a capful was plenty for a full glass of milkshake.

now i can see a couple of variants... of course the originally intended warm coffee drink, and then another milkshake with a shot of strong, cold coffee. i don't have an espresso maker (yet-- it's on my xmas list) so i simulate espresso beverages at home with strong, half-caf coffee.

Posted by lisa at 12:17 AM

December 22, 2004

ooh! we have one-fifty on the little one!

i've now got a recording of the neubauten show i saw in april. i'm stunned at how damn great it is, and not just because i was there.

it's divided into one-minute tracks. i need to find an app for osx that will allow me to merge/split some tracks so i don't have to hear gaps when i listen to it on the ipod.

Posted by lisa at 05:15 PM

AND I HAVE A CAMPER!

according to rob breszny:

"The planetary omens for 2005 are unambiguous: You've got to spend more time in nature."

Posted by lisa at 01:29 AM

December 21, 2004

i hold this truth to be self-evident to almost everyone but me

today i went to the char grill for lunch.

it was rather sparsely populated.

there was a woman waiting for her food. she was wearing this awesome winter-white coat that fit her slender yet gently curved body like a glove. all of her clothes and grooming were impeccable; her hair was jet back and neatly coiffed; her face was pretty and discreetly made up, as if by a professional. i spent a lot of time admiring her outfit.

she looked a little impatient. they called her number and her order. a grilled chicken sandwich. she had a conversation with the cashier about getting some condiment on the side. she walked away quickly, as if she was nervous that the folks back at the office would be mad at her for being gone so long.

me, i was dressed in about five sweaters and a slumpy brown coat. as always, i was waiting on a big ole charburger and fries. and i was in no hurry at all.

this inspired an IM conversation with jason that went approximately like this:

me: say you are with two girls.
j: i'm totally with two girls.
me: one of them is pretty in the face, nicely dressed and groomed, slim, and kind of anxious and uptight.
me: the other is a little plainer, dressed a little frumpier, and is totally relaxed.
me: which one do you pick?
(ok, maybe i didn't say pick.)
j: the second one. i'm so not into uptight.
me: see, i'm working this theory right now that being relaxed really helps you get laid.
j: well, duh. you didn't know that?
me: i didn't realize it until today. relaxed trumps a lot of things that women think are important, but aren't.

Posted by lisa at 06:22 PM

blogger central

i think we need to officially vote Federal "blogger central". last night i went there for dinner with rick!, jason!, and c., and we ran into the von pinkersons meeting rebecky for dinner. egads.

Posted by lisa at 10:33 AM

December 20, 2004

foodie - not

i'd never, ever claim to be a foodie. it comes as no suprise that georg has tried far more things on this list than i have. however, i would like to note that most of the things i have not tried are exotic meats, most of which i will probably not want to try because i have not been socialized since birth to believe that it is ok to eat these particular dead animals. in other words, although i have accepted that meat eating is a necessity for me, i am still enough of a vegetarian at heart that there are very, very few animals that i am willing to eat, and they are the ones that i was trained to eat from birth-- chickens, pigs, cows, fish.

so here are the foods i've not tried:

i'll freely admit to having been at least in part an emotional vegetarian and it appears that i still am.

Posted by lisa at 11:38 PM

still surprising me after all these years

this morning i woke up to little white paw prints all over the house. moses kept flicking one of his hind legs uncomfortably. i picked him up and he let me hold him belly-up-- i always feel uncertain about doing that, for fear he might claw me in the face. but he didn't seem to mind. the problematic hind paw was caked with damp clay from the litter box-- yuck.

i got some paper towels and some warm water and decided to give it a shot. he let me hold him belly-up again. i figured he wouldn't tolerate his hind paw being touched, much less cleaned with a damp paper towel-- but much to my surprise, he was totally cool about it. he let me really clean it up for him and even started purring. i've never had such a good look at a cat's hind paw before-- it's pretty interesting.

he's usually completely intolerant of having his hind claws clipped or of any combing or brushing-- however gentle-- around his hindquarters-- so it was a total surprise that he was such a sweetheart about this. i guess it was so uncomfortable that the warm water felt good.

after he was very sweet and wanted to cuddle on the sofa while i updated the ipod.

Posted by lisa at 10:36 AM

December 19, 2004

surprisingly undepressed

for those of you who just can't wait to find out how my mood has swung lately, i am here to tell you that it has not. and we here at ANP*, while we could be more happy, are pretty content and moderately cheerful about this fact.

as always, moderate levels of cheerfulness translated into moderate levels of craftiness and productivity. a strand of halloween lights came down. a fuzzy gray kitty collar was knit. the first pound cake of the season is in the oven. a pomander ball is gently filling my kitchen with the scent of cloves. mm.

*ANP is my abbreviation for "ANother Pink world". don't ask me why, i just realized one day that i was abbreviating it that way.

Posted by lisa at 06:17 PM

bad buffy cast movies

so my old buffy-watching crew had the brilliant idea that we should kill the time between the end of buffy and the release of the firefly movie by getting together and watching movies that the buffy cast has been in.

i decided to geek out and pull together a listing. of course, eliza dushku has actually been in some good movies, but the rest of them have basically been in a lot of stinkers. at the end of the evening, someone said, "i wonder how sarah michelle gellar feels about leaving the series for stuff like this ?"

we settled on rip it off, scooby doo 2, and i'm with lucy.

'rip it off' is pretty rank. in fact, it's almost a textbook of bad movie writing techniques, with a decent amount of completely gratuitous prurient content-- tit close-up, fucking, male full frontal, and a guy jerking off while driving a muscle car all in the first two scenes. i decided that alyson hannigan was preparing for season six of buffy in this role; her character is a lesbian heroin addict whose lover is killed at the end. and we were surprised to discover her hubby, alexis densiof, bungling the role of one of the russian thugs. he really has the worst russian accent ever and laughter-inspiring sideburns. sarah also pointed out that this movie featured an oddly oversized spatula, which appeared to be part of the decor of the russian thugs' kitchen. however, we were disappointed that during the psychedelic heroin-taking scene, no one claimed that alyson hannigan tasted like strawberries. otherwise, that scene could have been pulled directly from buffy season six.

'scooby doo 2' was a step up-- we first intended to watch only scenes, so we could see SMG in the role of daphne, but got caught up in the... plot? and wound up watching the whole thing. another surprise in this one, seth green, also a buffy cast member, as velma's geek love interest. not exactly reprising his role as oz, but drawing from it anyway. it was cute. the set design was great-- lots of crazy hanna-barbara colors and the scooby gang had a supercool mod pad. interestingly, something in this movie was proclaimed to taste like strawberries-- i think it was a bizarre chemical concoction laced with "randomonium" which brought monsters to life. oops, i gave away part of the "plot". sorry. also, this movie featured an oversized wagon wheel. weird.

finally, we watched 'i'm with lucy', featuring only one buffy cast member, david boreanaz. our expectations for this movie were low and we didn't plan to watch the whole thing, but it actually turned out to be the best of the three. nothing oversized, nothing that tasted like strawberries, nothing gratuitous and it featured an actual plot and good writing. and it even had henry thomas. you know, the kid from ET?

:|:

i think simply irresistible remains my favorite buffy cast movie, although bring it on ranks right up there (go peyton reed!). and there's a lot to be said for american pie and cruel intentions (which is gratuitous, but in just the right way).

Posted by lisa at 12:22 PM

you should blog more

seriously, if you people don't start blogging more, i might have to read books or something. i can't be social all of the time that i'm not at work or sleeping, and i can only watch so much tv.

:|:

today i started wondering if i actually still have all the energy i was using to be productive and shit this year, and am just turning it inward in a self-destructive manner. create or die, something like that.

regardless, i still don't feel like doing jack shit. i feel like a really boring person. but then i think about the two panic attacks i had at the end of the summer and i don't feel so bad about being boring, for now. the van will become art and the yard will get cleaned up and the bedroom will get redecorated, all in good time. in the meantime, it is ok if the only thing i create all day is a really nice, tasty cup of french-pressed coffee. and a blog entry. and some xslt code.

Posted by lisa at 12:02 AM

December 18, 2004

proceeding forward cheerfully in all directions

(and georg is the only person who is going to know who i am paraphrasing there)

impromptu shopping trip with m. and xa last night. i was surprised to discover that christmas shopping is much less painful a) with friends and b) on friday night (as opposed to saturday or sunday afternoon).

this year, the only people who wanted to participate in the family gift exchange were me and my cousin megan, who is in her early 20's and recently bought a condo. after many years of shopping for my grandpa, i'm finding this is an amazing treat. i mean, i love my grandpa, and i miss him and i wish he were here for me to shop for him still, but shopping for megan is totally fun. i found her a very adorable handbag at camerons, and i'm going to look for house accoutrement stuff at pier one today. she's setting up a new household, she's going to need some nice house stuff!

in fact, this is making me appreciate how insanely difficult every member of my family is to shop for, except my mom who is nice enough to provide a list. i've been through many ideas for my brothers, including digital cameras (they didn't want them-- what the???) i finally gave up and i'm just giving them a couple of chocolate bars and some money. no wonder i don't enjoy christmas.

so i woke up this morning excited about shopping for megan. and my bacon turned out perfect and crispy. ok, proceed with cheerfulness!

Posted by lisa at 09:37 AM

December 17, 2004

sleep it off

so this morning i wake up and feel kind of... cheerful. big depressions that are caused by something other than a traumatic life event-- mood swings basically-- i can usually sleep off. which is good.

hopefully i can maintain something like this through christmas... it would be nice if i could get through christmas day without feeling like i want to cry. or actually crying.

just call me little miss mood swing.

:|:

this morning i tried combining coffee and eggnog. yuck. i'm not so sure i would like an eggnog latte... and since it would involve sugar, i feel no need to experiment any further.

Posted by lisa at 10:21 AM

December 16, 2004

unrealistic expectations

so yesterday, i went to lunch with my group, a big holiday lunch at an italian restaurant. i ate ravioli and i ate dessert. a lot of dessert. lunch lasted until at least 3 or 3:30; we visited the apple store and didn't make it back to work until 4.

in the evening, i had coffee with a friend at around 8, still not having been hungry for dinner, of course. visited jason at the station and as he was about to go off air i announced that i was finally hungry... at 10pm. he was too, so we went to jo and joe's for burgers, fries and beer.

now, what did i think was going to happen? well, i figured something bad would happen. like, more weight gain-- that would be bad. i thought i might have trouble sleeping (which i didn't).

the one thing i totally forgot was that i'd be likely to be all depressed today. which i have been, all day, like a kind of hangover. in fact, it feels very much like the kind of low-energy depression i often get with a hangover.

mom came to visit in the afternoon to say hi, she asked me how i was and i said, "ok" in such a lethargic way that she immediately went into Sympathetic Mom Mode. nothing can bring on the tears faster than that, and i could feel them welling up, so i faked a more cheerful, "oh, i'm ok. really. i'm ok." to fend her off.

i did tell her that i didn't feel comfortable handling rides for gran any longer. she didn't much like it but i told her the story of gran getting stuck and being in pain the last time she tried to get out of spacepod, and that was the clincher.

now if i could get out of christmas altogether that would be ideal. i am seriously hating it this year. tonight i should draw up some kind of battle plan for gifts but mostly i just want to nap and watch tv and stuff. and drink the eggnog i bought, which i shouldn't have but i really wanted some eggnog and i couldn't find any without sugar. sugar craving: another unsurprising aftermath of yesterday's excesses.

pretty much lately the best i can seem to work up is "not depressed". i haven't actually achieved "happy" in quite a while.

work is hard and my arm really hurts today. i shouldn't be typing this and aggrivating my arm but eh. xsl is hard.

Posted by lisa at 05:00 PM

December 15, 2004

in the land of giants

i know a woman who has recently emigrated here from China. she's the wife of a co-worker, and just got her visa, after a long wait and much paperwork.

it is not hard to imagine that this is difficult, even with an american husband to help pave the way. a couple of things in particular are distressing to her, as i understand it.

food. no great surprise. if anyone knows places in the area that have authentic chinese, let me know. i know a lot of chinese restaurants do have an authentic section on their menu, but it can be hit or miss. and i don't know what region she's from-- although i imagine that matching the region would be too much to hope for. (i'm assuming you all understand that what we know as chinese food, isn't.)

clothes. she is not only short in stature, but has a tiny frame and a very slim build. i think she is feeling a little panicked that she's not going to be able to find clothes. i suggested looking in the kids section-- i'm not sure how she feels about that, but i suspect it's going to be the best fit for her. even a petite junior size might be cut too full in the hips. if anyone has any other suggestions, pass them my way. i suggested she go to old navy, where they have a huge range of sizes and cuts in the store.

i joked with her that she moved to the land of the giants. because pretty much that's what we are to her.

Posted by lisa at 06:58 PM

the lisa translator

MORE...

Posted by lisa at 05:10 PM

December 13, 2004

flickerrr

flicker tonight with il rossi.

most brilliant: bill weaver brandishing a knife and yelling, "YA THINK THIS IS SOME KIND OF FUCKIN' GAME? DO YA? YA DO? YA THINK THIS IS SOME KIND OF FUCKIN' GAME?" over and over and over and over again. and again.

least brilliant: a girl who carefully explained that her film was shot on a back lot at a big hollywood studio at a summer film camp, on 16mm and edited in final cut pro. which for the ill-informed is an extremely swanky setup for a flicker film.

technology does not make you imaginative.

Posted by lisa at 11:34 PM

December 12, 2004

social anxiety

so i don't really know how people perceive my shyness level right now; i'm guessing the people who have known me longer may see me as more shy, in part because they've had more opportunity to see me have shyness moments or social anxiety freakouts, and in part because i probably was more shy in general when i met them. someone who has known me for about a month was telling me recently that he can't believe i was once "painfully shy"... but it's true. i was:

i remember once as a small child flying or taking the train somewhere with my mom. we couldn't get seats next to each other-- i had to sit across the aisle from her. it was all i could do to tolerate this situation. i think there were a lot of tears. i remember pressing myself against the side of the seat that was closest to her and furthest away from the strange man i was forced to sit next to. my poor mom... how she put up with this crap i don't know, and to be sure she lost patience and told me not to be so clingy plenty of times.

obviously, i'm a lot better now, but it still crops up, often unexpectedly.

today i went to a party thrown by some friends in the neighborhood. at one time we were pretty tight, i even went to their wedding which was a weekend event at the beach. i managed to have a huge social anxiety freakout during the wedding and left a little early. i tried to hide it as much as possible, but with all the emotions flying around (i always find weddings to be very intense) and the guests being comprised of almost nothing but couples, i was feeling very alone and very much the squarest of square pegs.

i also realized during that weekend that although i know a lot of the people that are in their social circle... i'm not really friends with any of them... and i didn't manage to change that during the weekend. i know for some people it would have been a great social opportunity and they would have come away with a dozen new friends. i'm not some people. i couldn't do it.

so today i went to this party and as soon as i walked in i knew it was gonna be kind of the same way. and there i was in my shell again. i left pretty early, feeling rude and bad about it. but why put myself through the torture?

i don't like this side of myself, in fact i am ashamed of it. i don't like that it's often unexpected and that i can't always defeat it. now admittedly, today i gave up without giving it much of a shot. when i really, really put my mind to it i can do a little better. but it can be a strain.

Posted by lisa at 09:58 PM

poor little brown

last night i had him running around like a crazed thing, thanks to our new favorite toy. today he is slow and sore, barely able to get up on the sofa and not moving around really at all. i guess i need to talk to dr. jim about something a little more potent than the fish oil (which helped).

Posted by lisa at 03:03 PM

AUGH!

hundreds of comment spam today. my mt-blacklist is apparently completely not working-- the vast majority were received after i added the domain to my blacklist. commenting disabled til it blows over... you know the drill.

if i accidentally deleted anyone's comments today, i apologize. the new version of MT blacklist seems to lack a way to scan existing comments for the existence of a domain you just blacklisted, so i had to delete something like 600 comments manually. the new MT interface to comments makes this possible, but it's easy to miss any legit comments that may be buried in all the spam.

Posted by lisa at 12:45 PM

December 11, 2004

learning to love breakfast again

when i was a little kid, every saturday morning my mom would make me pancakes and i would watch cartoons. it was awesome.

later, when i was a teenager and our pancakes/cartoons ritual was long since over, i eliminated the concept of food from my mornings altogether. in fact, i pretty much elimintated the entire concept of morning from my world. i would shower in the evenings (it was hard to get at our one bathroom in the mornings), plan what i was going to wear, and pack my backpack before bed. in the morning i'd get up, wet down my bed-hair (so lovely), throw on my clothes, pee and run out the door in about five minutes. sometimes i'd gulp down some orange juice.

the habit of shortening morning to the greatest possible extent stuck through college and my early work years. after i quit school i mainly saw morning from the other side, anyway-- as the end of the day, rather than the beginning.

in the many years i've been in my current job, this has gradually changed. at some point i realized that rushing through the morning sucked. and later i realized that not eating breakfast was causing me some real problems and started really making a point of eating in the mornings.

now that i've started going in to work later, i really have time in the mornings. sometimes i sleep in, which really helps prevent insomnia problems because i never get too much of a sleep deficit going; sometimes i take the time to make a nice breakfast. it's so much nicer than rushing.

of course, getting gran's waffle iron changed things, too. i liked the ritualistic feeling of making waffles. i don't always make waffles on the weekend mornings that i make breakfast now, but i think the waffle making started to make me love the idea of a real breakfast at home.

:|:

this morning i made a grilled cheese sandwich, three slices of thick bacon, and some good strong coffee in my french press (with lots of milk and some hazelnut sweetener). i watched a couple of episodes of pee-wee and i'm still working on the coffee. a nice, long morning.

:|:

things recently that make me want to eat breakfast even more:

:|:

so would anyone like to come over on a sunday morning, late-ish (10 or 11) for breakfast and pee-wee? it could be fun. things i am likely to make: waffles (low or full-carb, your chioce... and i always have frozen blueberries in the freezer), bacon (can be of the fakin' variety if you prefer, in fact i think i have some), sausage (again, can be soy), grilled cheese sandwiches, coffee, and good strong tea. and mimosas by special request. or bloody mary's. and those wanting eggs would be welcome to use the stove to make them (i hate eggs).

if this sounds good to you, let me know.

Posted by lisa at 12:43 PM

December 09, 2004

what a modern-day westy could look like

brilliant.

vw has designed a concept version of a new microbus and i think there are plans to put it into production, although i don't know if there's a definite date.

this design firm has created a concept of what a westfalia camper conversion on the new microbus could look like and it's pretty fucking brilliant.

even if you're not into vw's or campers, if you have any interest in design, have a look-- it's waaayyy cool.

i have spotted one possible flaw-- i'm not sure if the roof rolls back, you need that to have enough headroom for indoor cooking and moving around comfortably. but otherwise it looks pretty great.

Posted by lisa at 07:47 PM