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December 16, 2004

unrealistic expectations

so yesterday, i went to lunch with my group, a big holiday lunch at an italian restaurant. i ate ravioli and i ate dessert. a lot of dessert. lunch lasted until at least 3 or 3:30; we visited the apple store and didn't make it back to work until 4.

in the evening, i had coffee with a friend at around 8, still not having been hungry for dinner, of course. visited jason at the station and as he was about to go off air i announced that i was finally hungry... at 10pm. he was too, so we went to jo and joe's for burgers, fries and beer.

now, what did i think was going to happen? well, i figured something bad would happen. like, more weight gain-- that would be bad. i thought i might have trouble sleeping (which i didn't).

the one thing i totally forgot was that i'd be likely to be all depressed today. which i have been, all day, like a kind of hangover. in fact, it feels very much like the kind of low-energy depression i often get with a hangover.

mom came to visit in the afternoon to say hi, she asked me how i was and i said, "ok" in such a lethargic way that she immediately went into Sympathetic Mom Mode. nothing can bring on the tears faster than that, and i could feel them welling up, so i faked a more cheerful, "oh, i'm ok. really. i'm ok." to fend her off.

i did tell her that i didn't feel comfortable handling rides for gran any longer. she didn't much like it but i told her the story of gran getting stuck and being in pain the last time she tried to get out of spacepod, and that was the clincher.

now if i could get out of christmas altogether that would be ideal. i am seriously hating it this year. tonight i should draw up some kind of battle plan for gifts but mostly i just want to nap and watch tv and stuff. and drink the eggnog i bought, which i shouldn't have but i really wanted some eggnog and i couldn't find any without sugar. sugar craving: another unsurprising aftermath of yesterday's excesses.

pretty much lately the best i can seem to work up is "not depressed". i haven't actually achieved "happy" in quite a while.

work is hard and my arm really hurts today. i shouldn't be typing this and aggrivating my arm but eh. xsl is hard.

Posted by lisa at December 16, 2004 05:00 PM | TrackBack

Comments

You like EGGnog??????

Posted by: Joe on December 16, 2004 06:18 PM

good point, joe! crazy!!

Posted by: christa on December 17, 2004 12:55 AM

well, nobody gets excited about the fact that i like cake and cookies, which also contain eggs.

give it a rest.

Posted by: lisa on December 17, 2004 08:41 AM

two words, people... eggnogg latte

Posted by: georg on December 17, 2004 09:03 AM

I think eggnogg lattes are my favorite thing at starbucks. Why don't they make those all year???

Posted by: Joe on December 18, 2004 08:31 AM

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