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January 24, 2004
tea
at the start of the year, i gave up coffee for tea. i didn't really plan it; i knew my sugar-free (and sometimes not so sugar-free) latte habit had to go, but that was all the thought i gave it. but somehow, over the break, i became quite the tea fan.
a good while back my (now ex) bf decided to encourage me to drink tea. so he made me a little tin of different nice teas. i've had it on my desk for over a year now, basically untouched and unused, but in the last month i've finally started using it.
every time i open it and take a little flat packet of tea out, i think about how it was this nice thing he did for me. it's difficult now to remember nice things about him; a year later my memory of him has been distilled into a bitter, old before his time, frustrated and angry young man who hated his job, his family, and people in general.
obviously he must have had a bit more going for him than that, but right now i can't remember what.
it was nice of him to make me the little box of tea, though.
-:-
nobody liked him. i didn't know it until later, but no one liked him. he was unresponsive to the overtures of even the nicest and most likeable of my friends; he said less and less with every social gathering. he would sink into corners and dark rooms, trapping certain very nice friends of mine in conversations about doctor who.
even my mom, who goes out of her way to be Supportive Mom most of the time, said to me recently, "I tried to like him. I really did." he never understood that family can be friends, that hanging out with your family can be totally fun.
of course, no one is going to say anything. how can they? i tried to make a pact with one friend, that he would tell me if i start dating another person that no one likes. but i know of course that he won't. you just can't say that to a friend.
i'm terrified of getting into the same situation again. i know some danger signs to look for now-- if they don't have friends, if they don't like their family... well, that's bad. but i've never had much luck finding guys to date that are in my social circle, or who fit in with my friends. so i dunno.
Posted by lisa at January 24, 2004 12:09 AM | TrackBack
Comments
Oh now, it wasn't that bad. I didn't dislike him, didn't think he was a creep or anything. I've spent enough time being really shy myself that I didn't mind hanging out in a quiet corner of a really crowded party, talking about various things. (not just doctor who :)
Clearly he wasn't worthy of you but that's easier to see in retrospect :)
Posted by: Sarah on January 24, 2004 09:53 AM
ok, so a) your comment won't post right away because i have to approve it first and b) you might get a server error but your comment probably posted anyway and c) previewing doesn't work so i've removed the preview button.