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February 15, 2004
strange...
it's been an awfully strange weekend. i've spent it sleeping and daydreaming and reading, no patience for tv or running errands or chores or work on the computer. i feel directionless; maybe the many directions i was going to pursue this weekend just combined into a blob of directionlessness. maybe i'm just burnt out from the unusual stresses of the week.
i used to do this all the time. i'd spend hours a day, entire weekends doing almost nothing but daydreaming, staring at the trees out my window, reading, watching the fire burn. during times like this i write in my head a lot. the nice thing about a blog is that the stuff i write in my head, some of it actually has a place to go now.
i wonder if i ever live with someone, will this be tolerated? will i be criticized and made to feel lazy and guilty if i just want to lay on the bed and stare at the trees, if i want to avoid the many things that need attention?
maybe i'll be lucky enough to wind up with someone who will just come spoon me instead.
Posted by lisa at February 15, 2004 05:54 PM | TrackBack
Comments
this is probably not going to sound sincere, but it is... i totally envy your ability to content yourself with daydreaming, reading, and sleeping. i really wish i could make myself just STOP every once in a while and sit and watch the snow fall. but i can't. my mind is always spinning, there are always a thousand things to do, and i feel a tremendously restless if i'm still for too long.
and when ray is contenting himself (as you do) i generally look at him with irritation. i find myself thinking, "aren't there a thousand things you could be doing, too?"
i don't like this about myself.
Posted by: christa on February 16, 2004 12:06 AM
the problem (for me) is that the daydreaming is involuntary, and sometimes asserts itself at inconvenient times.
i guess we sort of have the same problem, which is that we can't seem to decide when to be productive, and when to relax.
Posted by: lisa on February 16, 2004 12:13 AM
ok, so a) your comment won't post right away because i have to approve it first and b) you might get a server error but your comment probably posted anyway and c) previewing doesn't work so i've removed the preview button.