« ok/cancel has all the geek cute this week | Main | ride to lonnie's this evening? »
October 13, 2004
eccentrics
it was sarah who introduced the term 'eccentric' into my current vocabulary, i think. i'm finding lately that it rings quite a bell with me.
i've always been into eccentrics. i have a distinct memory from early high school of sitting in the cameron village library (my favorite post-school hangout), crushing heavily on a very eccentric boy. i remember that he had limp ash blonde hair, and an olive-green old man cardigan. thrift store was the look he was working, and this was years before the thrift store look really took hold, so he definitely stood out. he was about my age, maybe a year or two older, and he was reading a dr. seuss book and taking notes.
obviously, he made an impression, with his adorable eccentricity; i still remember him!
nowadays, i interact a lot with my eccentrics over the internet. i can tell you that the eccentric man, when faced with a girl he may or may not being trying to seduce over email (they tend not to be very direct people; sometimes, it's hard to know for certain), does some very odd things.
personas are adopted. i have had some truly strange email conversations with eccentric men. there's one in particular who likes to pretend that i'm an alien being from another planet.
there's a certain tyranny to this kind of conversation. one is forced to participate on their terms, as best as one can. it can be quite enjoyable-- metaphor boy, i have to say, is not so over the top as to be difficult, just pleasantly challenging. i enjoy exercising my vocabulary and imagination. for those of us who are a little shy, it can be a nice way to flirt safely, and in some cases, quite elegantly.
i find myself wondering, though, about these men in the real world. when a man you have not met speaks to you in anachronistic language, it's difficult to imagine him walking through the vegetable aisle at the grocery store, or pumping gas. i wonder how he makes his way through the day, and what his conversations with other people-- not over email-- actually sound like. does he write the way he talks?
it can make the tension of actually meeting almost unbearable. there's just no way a live conversation could be like the emails.. so a whole other way of relating has to be invented and worked out on the spot. not that that wouldn't be the case anyway, but with the online relationship worked out first, it can be especially awkward.
nevertheless, the pleasure of the email conversation can be so great that it's difficult to let go of it and move a friendship into real life.
because i love to write, and because i love to read things that are written especially for me and for no one else, especially when they are beautifully written things, i almost dread the transition out of the magical world of first emailing with a really intelligent, really odd person who has the time and mental energy to devote to a fantastic email conversation... yet, the email format is constraining, and i crave endless hours in a quiet place to talk.
i'm excited to have a new eccentric in my inbox, so that's why i've been thinking on this topic. i needed to remind myself that i've always loved eccentrics, and not all of them are people i'll regret having become close to... most of them are very nice people that i feel privileged to know.
Posted by lisa at October 13, 2004 12:15 AM | TrackBack
ok, so a) your comment won't post right away because i have to approve it first and b) you might get a server error but your comment probably posted anyway and c) previewing doesn't work so i've removed the preview button.